Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Joy of Giving - Card 18 experience

I got this anonymous long note in the comment box yesterday.... A beautiful tale of reconnecting and renewing an estranged friendship...

It was many moons ago that I, walked away from a beautiful friendship, the result of some impulsive and immature reactions.

We were good and thick friends who shared lots of common interests, music being the major one. He was naturally talented and played the guitar like a wiz. In fact he was the one who taught me the basics of playing this instrument, that I, to this day cherish. We also shared a wacky sense of humour, and that too bonded us well because it wasn't easy to find people to laugh at our jokes or understand our so called wit! There was no count to the number of evenings we just spent time together, that often extended to the night and the next day morning, talking, singing, sharing a drink or two.

He was also good friends with this lovely girl, an erstwhile colleague of his. He introduced me to her. I fell in love with this lass and courted her into submission. Blinded by the love, what I failed to notice or understand was that, he too was besotted, in love with the same girl. A classic bollywood 'love triangle'. And when I did come to know, my reactions too were on the same lines. Harsh words, lots of drama and a broken friendship. No, two broken friendships, because I caused the break up of two other good friends. 

As years aged me, and possibly wisened me too a bit, I realised the stupidity of my actions every time I revisited those times in my head. My sense of misplaced outrage was because “he dared to fall in love with my girl!” Arrogance of youth and immature passions can block reasonable thoughts. Little did I give weight to the fact that love sees no season or reason. Nor it is a crime. I did not give credit to the fact that may be I was the one who shattered his dreams. 

Because, they were friends much before I came into the picture. And if I could fall in love with her in such a short duration of knowing her, why couldn’t he have, earlier on itself? I remember vividly, asking him “Why couldn’t you tell me earlier! When I opened up to you first about my feelings for her?” I would have backed off even if he had hinted about it. Unfortunately, events turned out such that my anger and distress at the breach of trust overpowered all other senses and plunged that friendship to doom. 

On many an occasion I have rued my actions, at being immature and destructively impulsive. I have hence, really tried to be mellow, to avoid judgmental actions that create unnecessary wedges between family and friends. It takes a lot to make me angry now. I’m also doing my best to control the odd bursts of temper tantrums, but it’s a work in progress.
Much time had already elapsed, enough to fade out those memories when FB threw up an opportunity to make amends. Recently, an innocuous 'friend suggestion' brought my lost friend fresh into mind. After lots of self introspection and deliberation, I suppressed my ego and I messaged him and we reconnected. That was the first step. My first brick, to build that broken bridge. There is a real sense of lightness in me now. As though, I let go of some burden which I was subconsciously carrying. Happier still, that lovely girl, who is now my wife, has also reconnected with him. This time I introduced him to her.
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