Thursday, February 23, 2012

Joy of Giving - From the heart - Just Someone

My friend, supporter and soul mate, who we all know as "Just Someone" wrote this in an email to me. I am overwhelmed as I reproduce it here.... Read on to see how a small movement (nay, a deck of cards) has impacted an individual... Let me add here, what I believe to be true - the cards have impacted him because he 'chose' to be open and allowed them to... And that is all it takes - an open heart and mind, and a tremendous will...

Joy Of Giving...

Triggered by incidents in life, strong feelings/emotions - love, hatred, anger, regret,loneliness ( ?),dependence ( ? these are not feelings or emotions... I know ) - can completely overpower your thinking and the will to fight. I used to believe that these can ultimately be controlled only by ones own mind, that these thoughts can do no damage unless you allow them to and that nothing in life can defeat your will to fight.

Faced with a question today - Is my attitude a (dis)guise to shut my ears to the facts that are being told to me about me , especially the ones whom I consider close to me ? Do I use this to be just selfish and pay no attention to what I am being told repeatedly and to completely overlook what I really am? Do I do this because I need the ones who are close to me, more than they need me ? Do I have the strength to accept this fact and let go...?

This movement started by Ritu has helped me a lot... more than I can express in words...

The experiences narrated here have been heartening... Caught in an unsually abnormal frame of mind ( for me ) and thoughts which otherwise I have would willed and driven away... I thought I will spend some time to look at what I did with Joy of giving... maybe would help me...

Week 1 - One of the toughest cards and still my favourite. Have gone back to it many times and told myself that I can battle all the things going wrong around me, have shut out negativity a lot of times... But today, to my mind.. this is just another tactic that I use for my gains...

Week 2 - Wrote a letter about a person who changed my life and helped me learn a lot...

Week 3 - Yeah did this... and the feeling was wonderful... though I am very poor at any form of art.

Week 4 - Bucket bath - yes being practiced even now... showers only once in a week and twice a week for kids...

Week 5 - Didnt give away a Tulsi plant ... but was thrilled to receive one. And also thrilled that this Tulsi plant has 'given birth' to two more plants.

Week 6 - Didnt talk to a homeless person, but gave five packets of biriyani to people whom I found on the roads.

Week 7 - Gave a blanket to a guy working in our society. He was very happy.

Week 8 - Yes did this, took some pointers from the experiences posted and have managed to club washing clothes and minimise running the washing machine.

Week 9 - Treated a rick driver( though a known guy ) a couple of times to Neera .

Week 10 - Gratitude Diary - Had written down at least a line everyday in what I named as my gratitude diary - every day since this card was posted - had written about people whom I knew from my early days,old friends with no connection now, a couple of people who had hurt me real bad, and then sat down one day and wrote a my thoughts and feelings of gratitude about one dear friend - but one day under a volcano of feelings,I shredded this document, knowing very well that I would never be able to reproduce what I had written. Feeling sorry about it now.

Week 11 - Havent given a CFL to anyone... should do it... ( ? )

Week 12 - Didnt do this one either, though Ritu had made it easier.

Week 13 - Didn't make chai myself, but did organise chai for the watchmen from the nearby chai shop. Didnt do it during the course of this card.

Week 14 - Something I still try to do... though closing eyes currently brings only doubts and questions. Guess my mind is playing with me ( or me ?)

Week 15 - Havent done this. One of the downsides of having very few people who are really close to me.

Week 16 - Was motivated by this card to resume the gym sessions... which otherwise I would have endlessly postponed.

Week 17 - On a recent trip to Delhi, stopped over and spent some time at a Gurudwara... Was amazed by the openness that existed there. Have been thinking of 'Langar' for a long time... but havent had the chance to be at a Gurudwara to have Langar.... maybe next time I would do it.

Week 18 - Sorry - For everything that I do, because of what I feel.

Week 19 - Yeah did it...have fed strays, at the risk of them getting friendly with me...

Ah - Feeling much better.... :-)
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