Joy of Giving - Week 25 Card 25

Another week, another card...and with this 25th card we are nearing the half mark for the Joy of Giving exercise I started way back in September (2011)... For all my Joy of Giving companions, a big Thank you!

The card this week is quite unique. While it exhorts us to 'Craft Something with your Own Hands and Give it Away', it is also a FOR YOURSELF card... By creating something with our own hands, the joy we will experience will be as big as the joy of giving the gift away... Superb idea!!!!

It has been a while since I created anything. I've stopped painting, creating knick knacks and I hardly enjoy cooking/baking... But to honour this card, I shall certainly find something I can 'still' do and enjoy!

Meanwhile, if you are new to the Joy of Giving here's what you can do:

Go to the page titled Joy Of Giving where I have posted all the cards selected so far. Those of you who'd like to start this exercise from the beginning, just follow the cards in the order they are posted!

OR

To join the Joy of Giving right away just follow the cards every week as they are posted on the blog.

Please REMEMBER to post your experiences in a public forum - your own blog, note on FaceBook - or leave your story in the comment section of this blog. Do remember to tag me in your posts...

To know how it started click here.

To track the Joy of Giving through the past twenty four weeks, click here

DO spread the message of this unique movement. Encourage your friends to start following the cards and spreading joy...

Joy of Giving - Gift for my sweeper

How often do we actually SEE the people who do sundry jobs for us? The same people whose presence means that our day goes better, and without whom, life would be all, but happy/safe/clean/pretty?

When the Joy of Giving Card 24 prompted us to Give a Gift to the Sweeper in your Society, it got me thinking. The lady who sweeps the building in the sprawling (575 apartments) society I live in also collects the garbage every day.

In the 18 months that I have lived here, I have never once seen her take a day off. She works 7 days a week, and sometimes when she is unwell, a substitute takes her place. But that rarely happens.

Collecting garbage is not easy; especially in a building where the insensitive residents do not segregate  garbage and often I have seen filthy dustbins being handed over to her.

Segregating garbage helps the sweeper. Here's how:

She gets to collect dry garbage that comprises, paper, glass, plastics, batteries, cans, bottles, tins etc...and dump them into the large bucket. The wet waste that comprises the kitchen waste - peels, leftover food etc is handled separately. But when the two are mixed, she just doesn't know how to dump them separately, and she ends up getting her hands messy in the muck that she didn't create.

The ignominy of the entire process is when she accidentally spills something outside the large bucket she uses to collect the garbage in, she has to pick it and put it in. This she does with her bare hands.

So I thought that to follow the card I will give her the following items: A soap case with soap so she can wash her hands after the entire activity is done; a pair of durable rubber gloves, so she can wear them and not get her hands dirty to start with; a small mug to help her clean her feet, hands etc under the society tap before she goes home, or even before a meal; and a little insulated tiffin box, because the least a person deserves is a decent meal, stored properly...

I am also planning to add a bottle of water every time she comes to pick my garbage - will ask her to ring the doorbell and if I am home, I will give her a bottle of safe drinking water. In this searing heat, I hope it will help.

I don't have to, but I'd like fellow "Givers" to know that the total cost of this little package is Rs 225...

Soap Case - Rs 22

Rubber Gloves - Rs 79

Look on the sweeper's face - Priceless!

I would also like to share a few tips on how we can help ease the lives of the sweepers and those who handle our garbage. I follow these myself and it does take a little bit of 'thought'...but nothing more....

1. Never throw fused bulbs, broken crockery or any piece of glass straight into the dustbin. The garbage collector who collects from our doorstep to the ragpicker who rummages through our dry garbage looking for produce to sell/recycle, can end up hurting themselves with glass shrapnels. Always wrap the broken item in a thick layer of newspaper, rolled in a way that they have to 'open' the package when they deal with our garbage

2. Ditto for old knives or other sharp objects like used syringes for example

3. The same 'wrapping' process is advised for used diapers, and sanitary napkins/panty liners/condoms etc

4. Garbage segregation is the need of the hour. If not your society sweeper, but somebody in the chain has to separate the dry waste from the wet for the dry to be picked up by the Municipal Corporation. According  to a year 2000 Supreme Court ruling, segregation of our garbage is our individual responsibility. Even if we don't have much regard for a ruling that has not been implemented well, let us, at least for the dignity of these fellow humans, ensure our garbage is segregated and handed over to them

The Bully on the Playground

He is a bully. His mannerism is like that of one. He has been intimidating 6-7 boys who play football in the evenings, most of whom are in the age group of 8 -11. He uses abusive language when someone misses a pass or a tackle. He is unafraid of being overbearing with these boys who play in the open space of the housing complex they live in.

Suddenly the game is not innocent anymore as he tries to (for lack of an alternate word I use this one again) "bully" his way to domination.

That he is a grown man, most likely in his early 30s, is a reality not lost on any one, least of all the children.

Unfortunately this man lives two buildings away from us, and has been victimising my 8 year old during the games.

One evening, as I stood on my terrace watching the children play, I noticed that he allowed a foul to pass off as a goal when my lad was the goal keeper. Even though the boy protested, his teammates got after him because he had purportedly missed a 'simple' goal. Goaded by the bully, the boys proceeded to castigate the boy, who walked back home, head down, almost in tears.

Never in the past had I ever interfered with the games the boys played, even though children in their inimitable style bring home playground stories of glorified 'horror'. All along, I have upheld the idea that they, being peers, have the liberty to play, or fight or make up with each other as the case may be. 

But having watched the reality of what had happened, I called the boys over to my home.

Since these are also boys who spend an average of two hours in my house almost every single day playing video games and other sundry games, while I make them snacks etc...I thought I should tell them what really happened.

I told them that the "uncle" (bully) had cheated and that it was not a goal. They meekly nodded and went back to resume their game.

Within minutes I heard the bully shout from the ground floor (I live on the fifth) demanding to speak to Abhir's mother. After I confronted him and asked him to back off, and stop interfering in the kids' game, he muttered some innocuous statement like "Mind your own business woman", "I play with them because of my son" and went away.

What he had also failed to add was that his son is barely five, and is hardly ever part of the game in a team of boys much bigger and faster than him.

I was later given to understand that the bully has been using the 'f' word with the children, abusing them for not playing well. His language is crass and he is very rude with them.

This incident occurred almost 6 days ago. The fact that he returned to the playground simply meant that the point I was trying to make was completely lost on him. 

Meanwhile, my son was barred from joining the game yesterday when his friends said, "Uncle will be angry if you join because your mother said bad things to him" and asked him to take "Uncle's permission" to play.

In his role as self-appointed referee cum coach he has managed to drive a wedge between the boys who have been playmates and friends for a long time.

Fortunately, my son came home told me that he doesn't need friends like them and proceeded to play at home instead.

Honestly, I am seething. I will desist from writing down my true feelings towards him... Suffice to say that words like scum, assh***, rasc**, beating, FIR etc have crossed my mind.

I am angry that a high-on-testosterone imbecile is taking over a playground where he has no right to be. He is interfering with the boys' games on the pretext of coaching his son, and also abusing the lads, again on the same pretext. He is ostracising an 8 year old in a playground... What kind of a lowly man would do something so despicable?

The Oxford Dictionary defines a bully as
"A person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker..."

Tell me friends, how must I deal with him? How would you deal with him?

When?

When does a turnaround actually happen?

When we realise that is not the end of the road and that sadness need not be part of our daily beauty regimen?

When do we allow ourselves to warm our hearts to the simplest joys - a hug, a smile or even a phone call?

When we realise that the birds flying in the open sky could just as well be us, if only we took that chance?

When does the euphoria of being alive really seize us?

When we've been to the brink and survived to tell the tale?

 

Joy of Giving Card 22 - Avoid Plastic Bags Video

The Joy of Giving Card 22 that exhorts us to desist from using plastic bags for a week is very dear to me.

When I was a newly wed, we used to travel a lot. On one of our trips to Nagaland and Meghalaya, I found, to my horror, the beautiful landscape was on its way to near ruin due to mountains of plastic bags lying in heaps along the roads, hillsides, open fields etc.

The experience also made me take notice of similar conditions prevailing in the city we lived in then, (famously called the Singapore of the East) Vishakhapatnam. I was not content merely watching. So I took action.

I designed and got the husband to screen print (this was the mid-90s remember!) A 4 size posters that I (much to his chagrin - because he was my chauffeur) pasted across town - in stores, supermarkets, even the University bulletin board. I did not attempt to find out if it helped, but at the famous Nilgiris Supermarket that I frequented, I was told by the manager that it had helped and people were not taking plastic bags from them anymore.

Sometimes I like to think that it was the fervour of youth and the idealistic thought process that served as an inspiration, but today I know it wasn't. Over the years I have continued to follow the practise of minimal plastic bag use, and even inspired my mother to do the same.

To bring all my thoughts on the subject together, I have created this 4 minute video. It is an amateur effort to make a little difference.

I am sending copies of the video on a pen drive to both my children's schools. It would help if this message could be spread to become a movement.

It is afterall, our responsibility to ensure that the Earth can breathe long after we're gone!

Watch it and forward!

Joy of Giving - Card 24, Week 24

The card this week for the Joy of Giving is a simple "For People You Know" card. By its very definition the person mentioned in the card is NOT someone I know..the sweeper of my building - the lady who cleans the staircase, collects the garbage, though she is someone I have interacted with almost on a daily basis.

I look at this card as the one opportunity I have to appreciate her hard work. I will need to think a little about the gift I shall give her...

Meanwhile, if you are new to the Joy of Giving here's what you can do:
Go to the page titled Joy Of Giving where I have posted all the cards selected so far. Those of you who'd like to start this exercise from the beginning, just follow the cards in the order they are posted!

OR

To join the Joy of Giving right away just follow the cards every week as they are posted on the blog.

Please REMEMBER to post your experiences in a public forum - your own blog, note on FaceBook - or leave your story in the comment section of this blog. Do remember to tag me in your posts...

To know how it started click here.

To track the Joy of Giving through the past twenty three weeks, click here

DO spread the message of this unique movement. Encourage your friends to start following the cards and spreading joy...

Joy of Giving - From the heart - Just Someone

My friend, supporter and soul mate, who we all know as "Just Someone" wrote this in an email to me. I am overwhelmed as I reproduce it here.... Read on to see how a small movement (nay, a deck of cards) has impacted an individual... Let me add here, what I believe to be true - the cards have impacted him because he 'chose' to be open and allowed them to... And that is all it takes - an open heart and mind, and a tremendous will...

Joy Of Giving...

Triggered by incidents in life, strong feelings/emotions - love, hatred, anger, regret,loneliness ( ?),dependence ( ? these are not feelings or emotions... I know ) - can completely overpower your thinking and the will to fight. I used to believe that these can ultimately be controlled only by ones own mind, that these thoughts can do no damage unless you allow them to and that nothing in life can defeat your will to fight.

Faced with a question today - Is my attitude a (dis)guise to shut my ears to the facts that are being told to me about me , especially the ones whom I consider close to me ? Do I use this to be just selfish and pay no attention to what I am being told repeatedly and to completely overlook what I really am? Do I do this because I need the ones who are close to me, more than they need me ? Do I have the strength to accept this fact and let go...?

This movement started by Ritu has helped me a lot... more than I can express in words...

The experiences narrated here have been heartening... Caught in an unsually abnormal frame of mind ( for me ) and thoughts which otherwise I have would willed and driven away... I thought I will spend some time to look at what I did with Joy of giving... maybe would help me...

Week 1 - One of the toughest cards and still my favourite. Have gone back to it many times and told myself that I can battle all the things going wrong around me, have shut out negativity a lot of times... But today, to my mind.. this is just another tactic that I use for my gains...

Week 2 - Wrote a letter about a person who changed my life and helped me learn a lot...

Week 3 - Yeah did this... and the feeling was wonderful... though I am very poor at any form of art.

Week 4 - Bucket bath - yes being practiced even now... showers only once in a week and twice a week for kids...

Week 5 - Didnt give away a Tulsi plant ... but was thrilled to receive one. And also thrilled that this Tulsi plant has 'given birth' to two more plants.

Week 6 - Didnt talk to a homeless person, but gave five packets of biriyani to people whom I found on the roads.

Week 7 - Gave a blanket to a guy working in our society. He was very happy.

Week 8 - Yes did this, took some pointers from the experiences posted and have managed to club washing clothes and minimise running the washing machine.

Week 9 - Treated a rick driver( though a known guy ) a couple of times to Neera .

Week 10 - Gratitude Diary - Had written down at least a line everyday in what I named as my gratitude diary - every day since this card was posted - had written about people whom I knew from my early days,old friends with no connection now, a couple of people who had hurt me real bad, and then sat down one day and wrote a my thoughts and feelings of gratitude about one dear friend - but one day under a volcano of feelings,I shredded this document, knowing very well that I would never be able to reproduce what I had written. Feeling sorry about it now.

Week 11 - Havent given a CFL to anyone... should do it... ( ? )

Week 12 - Didnt do this one either, though Ritu had made it easier.

Week 13 - Didn't make chai myself, but did organise chai for the watchmen from the nearby chai shop. Didnt do it during the course of this card.

Week 14 - Something I still try to do... though closing eyes currently brings only doubts and questions. Guess my mind is playing with me ( or me ?)

Week 15 - Havent done this. One of the downsides of having very few people who are really close to me.

Week 16 - Was motivated by this card to resume the gym sessions... which otherwise I would have endlessly postponed.

Week 17 - On a recent trip to Delhi, stopped over and spent some time at a Gurudwara... Was amazed by the openness that existed there. Have been thinking of 'Langar' for a long time... but havent had the chance to be at a Gurudwara to have Langar.... maybe next time I would do it.

Week 18 - Sorry - For everything that I do, because of what I feel.

Week 19 - Yeah did it...have fed strays, at the risk of them getting friendly with me...

Ah - Feeling much better.... :-)

Joy of Giving - Card 22, 23 - Week 23

I am late again! No, I don't intend to make a habit of this... Let's just say too many things happened (like the computer crashed and I managed to dig out an old defunct laptop just to post these cards)!!!

Anyhow, since I am lagging behind by one week, I thought I would post two cards this week, and both are fairly simple. They can be executed simultaneously until next Monday when we are ready for the next card.

Here they are: Card 22 and 23 (please forgive the bad resolution. I had to photograph them since I couldn't hook the laptop to my scanner)...

Both the cards are simple and do-able. Incidentally I have been carrying a cloth bag while shopping for a very long time now. Will write about it. I also began emptying my cupboard past weekend and will donate the clothes like I always do.

Meanwhile, if you are new to the Joy of Giving here's what you can do:

Go to the page titled Joy Of Giving where I have posted all the cards selected so far. Those of you who'd like to start this exercise from the beginning, just follow the cards in the order they are posted!

OR

To join the Joy of Giving right away just follow the cards every week as they are posted on the blog.

Please REMEMBER to post your experiences in a public forum - your own blog, note on FaceBook - or leave your story in the comment section of this blog. Do remember to tag me in your posts...

To know how it started click here.

To track the Joy of Giving through the past twenty two weeks, click here

DO spread the message of this unique movement. Encourage your friends to start following the cards and spreading joy...

Joy of Giving - Liquid Diet Chart

I have never fasted a single day in my life. Not even for Karwa Chauth (being honest even at the cost of being gawked at by the other 'pati-vrata strees')... First off, I never felt the need to...especially for religious reasons. Secondly, I know that most fasts just end up making you crave and eat more, either on the day you're breaking the fast (in religious fasts that is typically done with halwa floating in ghee) or the subsequent days. Thirdly, I never thought of curtailing myself from eating AT ALL for a whole day. I'd much rather just be selective about what I eat rather than not eat at all.

So when I picked this card two days ago, I thought I should read up on the "liquid" diet bit before I execute it.

My first concern was not 'how much weight I would lose!' but really what would be the healthiest way of sticking to this kind of diet, even for a day, without compromising on my energy levels and stamina. What I cannot compromise on under any circumstance are these two essential things in my life - they help me achieve all that I need to on any single day, and keep me from getting frustrated or impatient with life.

I did a substantial bit of reading and have drawn up the following chart I will follow for the day of my diet. Please feel free to follow it yourself if you do intend following this card.

My day begins at 545 am, but my first 'drink' is usually consumed around 630. So my diet chart begins at 6 30 am.

6 30 - Have my usual morning nectar - a combination of Pineapples and apples. A glassful. No sweetener or ice added.

8 00 - Milkshake with banana or apple. Banana would be essential for me as this would be followed by my regular 1.5 hour gym session. I will use skimmed milk powder.
Although I have been off all dairy products for the past 3 months or so, I included this shake as a morning energy booster because of my gym routine. Those who don't follow this can have a glass of tomato and carrot juice. Great for the skin too.

10 00 - A protein shake after workout. This is also part of my workout routine.

12 00 - A citrus juice would be great as a pre-lunch appetiser.

14 00 - I am planning to have a clear soup. Pressure cook carrots, beans, cauliflower, tomatoes and cucumbers with a little moong dal (for protein) in lots of water. Strain (without mashing), add a pinch of salt and crushed black pepper. And a drop of ghee. Very filling, nutritious and totally liquid.

16 00 - A lassi or buttermilk would be a great addition here. However, since I don't consume dairy products I will have coconut water, followed by half a glass of Amla juice in lukewarm water.

18 00 - Black herbal tea, with a dash of lime or honey. Iced-tea is also a good option. I will have a cup of green tea, without sugar. It is a good anti-oxidant too.

20 00 - Dinner will be either soup or a combination of vegetable juice - carrots, tomatoes, bottle gourd (lauki), and cucumbers.

22 00 - Since following this diet will deplete me of some energy I want to end the night with a protein shake to keep my stomach from rumbling and letting me sleep peacefully.

As I planned this diet I took precautions to avoid the following (which any of you planning to do their own version of the liquid diet must also follow):

1. Dairy products are best avoided because they can be difficult to digest. I have thus included just one shake in the first half of the day so that the body has an entire day to digest it.

2. Protein is a very essential nutrient for the body. When on a liquid diet, protein must be supplemented.

3. Apart from protein, vitamins and minerals found in fruit juices must also be included.

4. Caffeine and alcohol consumption is best avoided as these liquids tend to dehydrate the body.

5. Opening a can of juice is easy but the high amount of sugar in them may only end up escalating your hunger than dissipating it.

6. Essential fatty acids are equally important as they will help a great deal in absorbing the food and keep you from feeling hungry. Recall the drop of ghee in the soup.

7. Drink plenty of water through the day. Nothing detoxifies the body like the transparent liquid!

Tomorrow I follow Card number 21 for the Joy of Giving. Wish me luck!

Joy of Giving - Card 21 - Week 22

I am back!!!!

Sincere apologies to Rahmath, Alka, Rekha and the others who are walking the Joy of Giving journey with me. I was on a break for my brother's wedding and returned home a few days ago... At first I contemplated posting a card mid-week but thought of sticking to the Monday tradition.... 

So here's the card for this week.

New to the Joy of Giving? Here's what you can do:

Go to the page titled Joy Of Giving where I have posted all the cards selected so far. Those of you who'd like to start this exercise from the beginning, just follow the cards in the order they are posted!

OR

To join the Joy of Giving right away just follow the cards every week as they are posted on the blog.

Please REMEMBER to post your experiences in a public forum - your own blog, note on FaceBook - or leave your story in the comment section of this blog. Do remember to tag me in your posts...

To know how it started click here.

To track the Joy of Giving through the past twenty one weeks, click here

DO spread the message of this unique movement. Encourage your friends to start following the cards and spreading joy...