Saturday, June 13, 2009

An encounter at Barista


Yesterday I realised that strangers could have the ability to make a regular day truly special, if only you allowed them to.

Last evening, after covering an event, in need of a cup of cappucino, I found myself at Barista.

I walked up to the counter to place my order and came across an amicable fella. We discussed the 'change' I didn't have to give him, and when he asked me my name (to call out when my order would be ready), I felt a strange connection. When you meet people sometimes, don't you feel 'we could be friends??'...if only you could get rid of the inhibition (what will they think?)..... His eyes seemed to be talking to me....

Anyways, after a couple of minutes I received a call that had to be taken out of the cafe, and after I walked back inside, I saw my Cappucino on the table, staring at me with the face of a woman drawn with chocolate sauce!!!

Curvaceous eyebrows, large eyes, a flattish nose and a delightful smile looked back at me, while I sat dazed at his thoughfulness, contemplating awhile if I should empty the sugar sachet into the cup and dissolve the visage. The face was so pretty I didn't have the heart to do it, although eventually the aroma of the cappucino enticed me into it.

I looked around for him and met his eyes and yea...they spoke to me again... Made me feel real special!

Before I left the cafe, I walked up to him and thanked him for the special cuppa. His handshake was firm and he gave me a smile I shan't forget in a long time.

His gesture may have been a figment of my imagination, but I was smiling all the way home.


Tuesday, June 9, 2009

The Omen


9 March, 2009

“Why are you so afraid of heights?”

The voice seems to be coming from another planet.

“No one in our family is such a sissy.”

Ah! The inevitable Rajput exhortation. To be a sissy was condemnable, especially since bravery was considered a genetic baton, passed on from one generation to another.

“Ok. I will jump” I say resignedly. You can’t exhort the bravado in a Rajput and expect them to stay mum.

It is a free fall. 150 feet. Strapped and harnessed, I feel safe. Or do I?

I take a deep breath as the hysterical ‘inner’ voice gets louder and louder. ‘This is not good Romeo. Not good for you.’

I don’t want to look down. And I don’t want to jump. But there is a queue building up behind me and the organisers are losing patience with ‘the sissy’. Uh-oh... Dad? Why is he calling me?

9 March 2009 - 5 am.

“Early mornings don’t gel with me mom. Keep me awake for nights on end, I can. Just don’t expect me to hop out of bed so early and wake up smiling.”

“Just have your coffee and get to the Airport to pick dad.”

“What a drag mom! Can’t he just take a cab home?”

“Certainly not! He will be too tired to haggle with cabbies after such a long flight Romeo. Just go.”

Romeo Singh. An unlikely name for a Rajput boy. But dad is an English professor and his love for Shakespeare ensured that my sister and I got unique names. Romeo and Ophelia. Fortunately, he didn’t name me Lear or Othello. Romeo is bad enough, but bearable.

Action taken. Mom’s happy and I love that smile on her face when she welcomes dad after a long trip. Such love birds those two!

11 am.

I suddenly feel the need to read a newspaper. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I hate the newspaper because it only covers politics and celebrity trash. Reading 16 pages of covert views is just not my idea of beginning a day. But today, the urge is almost nagging me. Ah, forget it! I will just get going now. Friends are waiting up for me. Been a fortnight since I stepped out of home....

5 pm.

“Where is Romeo? Why isn’t he home preparing for the MBA entrance?”

“He really needed a break after two straight weeks of studying. He has gone to the adventure park and should be home by 7. Ophelia is joining him straight from college too. Here have your coffee and read the newspaper in peace. Stop worrying about him.”

Youth dies in bungee jumping accident

9 March 2009 – M G Road - In a ghastly incident that highlights the lack of safety measures in the city, a youth died in a bungee jumping accident at the Adventure Park at about 530 pm today. Romeo Singh, 22, who was spending the day at the park with his friends, decided to bungee jump when they coaxed him to take on the challenge. Police say that the harness cord broke and he plunged 150 feet to his death.....

Uh –oh...Dad? Why is he calling me? “Ophelia! Can you take this call? It’s dad!” Take a deep breath Romeo. This is the day you prove that yours is the true Rajput blood.

“Ophelia, stop Romeo right now!” “Why dad?” “Just do as I say!!!”

“OH NO!!!!!!!!!!” An earth shattering scream....

“Ophelia? Ophelia? What happened? Hello? Hello? Can you hear me? Tell me what happened? Is Romeo alright? I am coming over right now..........”

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Of death and Mother's Day


The last one month have been the most harrowing for us as a family. Apart from several deaths of people we knew intimately, we also experienced the death of two loved ones, the first for my children and irreplacable losses for Harish...first his maternal gran'ma and then his mom. 

Losing mom... There can't be a pain that parallels that feeling of sadness and numbness.

For my children, this was the first grandparent they have lost. While Abhir was shaken up by the sight of the departed soul (I hate the words 'dead body'), placed carefully in a freezer with a glass top, stationed at home, it was Oorja who stumped me with her reactions.

After the death of gran'ma, I spoke to amma on the phone, offering what seemed like lame words of comfort (I mean, who/what can possibly console you when you've lost your maa). Then, Oorja came on line and said, "Gran'ma, I am very sorry to hear that your mom died. You must be very sad."

These were not words we'd taught her. The words represented her 'own feelings'. I was so proud of my child that day!

13 days later, we were travelling towards our hometown to partake in the final rites of amma. 

Cut to yesterday. Mother's Day eve.

I speak to Oorja over the phone (as she vacations with her brother at her maternal gran'ma's place) and she says, "I am feeling very sad for Papa. Tomorrow is Mother's Day and he will miss gran'ma."

"Dear God!" I respond.  Such sensitivity!

Today, she called and sang me a song, promising me a 'gift' when we meet. I am so proud and so happy...Im counting my blessings today!

Thursday, April 30, 2009


On the one hand, despair and utter hopelessness. On the other, total extinction. What should I choose?

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Flight


She hadn't moved since the previous night. Hunger it seems did not bother her. After all, she was to be a mother soon. And once the baby arrived, food would be one of the first few things she would compromise on, smiled Shalini.  

Sighing, she took another sip of Green Tea. Something she had recently discovered. Not that she liked it. She wanted to banish her caffeine addiction and a colleague suggested she try Green Tea, and that very evening, on her way home from office, she'd dropped in at the 'frequented by firangs only' supermarket to pick the tea. She'd also read somewhere that it would help in clearing the complexion. Truth or fabrication, she didn't care. She really DID need something to remove the bags under her eyes. If drinking Green Tea didn't help, she'd try placing the tea bag on her eyes she thought and smiled to herself at the mere idea.  

Peeping into the bare refrigerator, she contemplated on what she could give the young mother. What do pigeons eat anyway? There was some left over spaghetti, and rice, and some dal. Shalini scooped a bit of everything, placed it on a tissue and gingerly opened the window to place the offering on the ledge.

The pigeon seemed petrified. She tucked her winged body into the furthest corner of the ledge, uncertain at the purpose of this unwelcome intervention. Isn't it strange, thought Shalini, that I can see the fear in a pigeon's eyes, and no one can see it in mine? Am I too perceptive or is the world around me just totally blind?

She scanned through the morning paper gulping down the remnants of the pale concoction. Trash, she thought as she read that hell had broken loose in Brangelina heaven ultimately. Although she didn't really care about celebrities and their lives, she'd often marvelled at their ability to walk away.

What did they do first? Pack their clothes, like all of them? Including the sexy lingerie? Or did they pack just enough for a few days, returning later for more? How did they decide what footwear to take along? What about stuff like the expensive China…or the antique bedside table gifted to them by a dear friend? Or even the coasters that she just could not do without? Or her prized possessions, the World Book set she had paid an exhausting EMI for?

Walking away in a huff is easier when you’ve planned what you want to take with you, she thought. The first step is to KNOW what you want. In a three bedroom apartment, where every piece of furniture, wall hanging or painting, had a story to tell, deciding what is important would take a lot of deep thinking.

Perhaps, that is why I’ve failed so far, she mulled. Because I can’t make up my mind if I want to take a couple of suitcases or leave with a backpack.

And then, the bigger question, where would she go? Move into a nondescript apartment and pay prohibitive rentals? Or suffer the Paying Guest rigmarole to save precious money?

Under the shower, as she soaped her recently-waxed legs, her mind raced back to the pigeon again. I must leave her a bowl of water, she thought. The weather had turned ugly that Summer and although the eggs would hatch any day, Shalini knew that the bird would not venture away even if the heat killed her.

Picking the keys, she slung the satchel over her shoulder before she bent down to stir Karan. I’m leaving she said. Ok he responded. He’s going to have a hangover I’m sure she thought. These so-called office parties, late nights on a weekday, she sighed. He is so goddamned lucky!

An uneventful day progressed slowly. Not a single call or visitor. I am a customer care exec in a Bank and I’ve counted the minutes today, she thought wryly. Sign of the times perhaps. A career that was going nowhere and a relationship that seemed to be gathering steady momentum, downhill.

There was a time when thinking of him felt like a whiff of gentle breeze on a hot, sultry and still afternoon, refreshing yes, but also calming. Now, when she forced herself to think of the ‘good times’ she could barely smile. Lately she’d had to turn up the volume of the car stereo to distract herself, fearful of the mad thoughts that momentarily possessed her. And isn’t that all it took? A fleeting deviation to ram head-on into a speeding luxury bus…?

Photographs hung carefully under canopied lights ‘for the right effect’, covered pale white walls, showcasing images of Karan and her, laughing over a joke, watching the sunset, taking para gliding vacations and posing at numerous weddings…the perfect couple. Okay. Maybe not perfect. But near perfect.

How sad it would be to break the charade. And moreover, camouflaging her real feelings was easier than tackling the Oh-I-am-so-sorry-for-you looks. 

Troubled by her unending silences, her sister had asked her, but she’d been too reticent to say anything. Is it another woman? Does he hit you? What is the matter? Tell me Shalu, she’d begged. 

And Shalini had remained transfixed by the absurdity of her situation. None of the above, she’d have answered in response to the multiple choice barrage.

Back home that evening, she headed straight for the window and noticed that the food had gone. Satisfied, she placed a bowl of filtered drinking water for the mother to-be and stood watching the winged being for what seemed like an eternity.

Madam, I am going, called the cook, but Shalini didn’t hear.

They never found her, dead or alive. What they did find was a list of favourite articles in her handwriting and a couple of randomly noted numbers of PG accommodations near her workplace. She hadn’t visited even one of them, informed the cops. She was planning to move out. Maybe she just ran away with a lover or friend, they added, eager to close the case. They had better things to do than track a woman who did not want to be found.

Karan could not protest. There was no other ‘logical’ explanation. Maybe she did take a lover. She just wasn’t herself recently, he thought. He shook hands with the PI and thanked him for his help.

He’d have to take down all the photographs, and move her clothes to the guest room. Her sister had promised to drop by and sort through her stuff. He was too distraught to do it himself.

He walked to the window and saw the two babies, featherless yellow creatures, with the pink of their skin showing through the soft yellow hair, black beaks and frail limbs, breathing deep. My God they’re ugly, he exclaimed aloud. Just as he turned, he saw a pigeon swoop down into the nest.

She made herself at home and turned to face him. And then he saw them. Through the glass. Her eyes. Unmistakable.  


Thursday, April 9, 2009

Happy Birthday Abhir


I woke him this morning and sang Happy Birthday to him...hugging him and holding him close. He heard me and smiled. Eyes closed, he kept smiling as the Birthday song was done and I began kissing him. 

A little later he came back to me and wanted another Birthday wish. "Say Happy Birthday to me again."

An hour later, as he got ready for the day-care, another Birthday wish demand. 

And in my mind, I've been 'wishing' since the day he was born.

6 years. Another milestone.

Last year, he turned five and I heaved a sigh of relief, thinking and thanking God that his struggles were finally over. But I was mistaken. My little boy was destined to fight his way through and another battle has begun. This one is already draining us of our energy. But it can't rob us of our optimism. We are fighters, and so is he. We will fight and we will triumph.

My words to him would simply be:

Kyun is kadar hairan tu
Mausam ka hai mahmaan tu
Duniya saji, tere liye
Khud ko zara pehchan tu

Tu dhoop hai
Chan se bikhar
Tu hai nadi
O bekhabar
Beh chal kahin,
Ud chal kahin
Dil khush jahan
Teri to manzil hai wahin!

As his favourite didi Rashmi says, "Recognise the potential of your child and KEEP THE FAITH!"

Happy Birthday meri jaan!

 

Sunday, April 5, 2009

कभी कभी मेरे दिल मैं ख्याल आता है
की ये बदन ये निगाहें मेरी अमानत हैं
की तू मुझे चाहेगी उम्र भर यूँही 
उठेगी मेरी तरफ प्यार की नज़र यूँही
मैं जानता हूँ मैं गैर हूँ, मगर यूँही
कभी कभी मेरे दिल मैं ख्याल आता है.....


Thursday, March 26, 2009

My Vote counts Mr Thackeray


Hubby and I have enrolled into the voter's list in Pune. The procedure was a lot easier than we'd anticipated.

Now there are two more votes that will count. 

Suresh Kalmadi: We've been in Pune for just about three years and noticed that the only time you actually made your presence in this city was during the CYG. Else it seems you care two hoots about the constituency that took you to the Lok Sabha. We've seen your pictures flashed in several Page 3 dos. But seldom seen a comment or remark about the poor state of this city. What have you done for the city in these five years? Now you come back begging for votes and claim you have an action plan for Pune called Vision 2020. Where was this foresight when you were elected the last time around? Would Pune have the worst traffic in the country? Would it bear the brunt of 'no planning' and an absolutely lackadaisical attitude of the powers that be on all fronts, including civic issues and the rapid urbanisation? Would Pune have gone from Pensioner's Paradise to Paradise Lost (I take the liberty of using John Milton's famous poem)? Think about it: Do you really deserve my vote?

MNS Candidate: I am a North Indian who is a voter in Maharashtra. Now! How the hell did that happen. Fortunately for the country, the CONSTITUTION still views us as 'Indians' first! Can you get past the anti-North Indian tirade and get my Vote? Didn't think you would be interested. But mark my words when I say, "My vote counts Mr Thackeray."

D S Kulkarni: Whaaaatttt? How come? Shocking! How can Mayawati override the VERY reason BSP gained popularity since the days of Kanshi Ram? Dalit politics, caste politics...forgotten to get votes? Whatever happened to "ideology"? Tut! Tut!

Choosing someone from a cesspool of 'politicians' is going to be tough call. But I am certain that my vote will count..at the end of the day!

Friday, March 20, 2009

All the way


When somebody loves you 
It's no good unless he loves you - all the way 
Happy to be near you 
When you need someone to cheer you - all the way 

Taller than the tallest tree is 
That's how it's got to feel 
Deeper than the deep blue sea is 
That's how deep it goes - if its real 

When somebody needs you 
It's no good unless he needs you - all the way 
Through the good or lean years 
And for all the in-between years - come what may 

Who knows where the road will lead us 
Only a fool would say 
But if you'll let me love you 
It's for sure I'm gonna love you - all the way, all the way 

No. I didn't write it. 


Tuesday, March 17, 2009


Kids grow up real fast. There are a lot of things I missed chornicling when my daughter was growing up. No blogs you see. But with my son, I've done a fair bit of memorable writing; stories I hope will bring a smile to his face when he grows up as it does mine when I read them.

Was prompted to write this post because every time we (Oorja, Abhir and I) are travelling together (minus the dad), using the restroom becomes a big issue. A few years ago, Abhir didn't understand the difference. Now he does. He stops in his tracks, be it on an airport, or a restaurant, claiming "This is a girl's toilet." He refuses to come in and do his business.

The big problem with letting him go to a gents restroom is that the urinals are too high for him and sometimes, especially in cinemas Ive been told, they do not have a closed door toilet that this little fellow can use. And frankly speaking, I am uncomfortable having a stranger help him do the job! So I just insist that he accompanies me and his sister to the ladies room.

One of my friends once remarked "Tell him to enjoy using the ladies' room while he can!" Anyway, it is a tug of war and I usually win. I know before long he will be old enough to move to the opposite door and that will be yet another 'oh he's grown up!' moment.

I can also remember very clearly the time when as a two year old he had to be taught to pee standing up. I blogged about it then and can't resist posting it here. Have fun reading!

How do you teach a little boy to pee standing up….especially if the teacher (in this case, ME) has no personal experience in the field?

It is not as easy as I’d imagined and soon found out… 

Step one: Take off the shorts.

Step two: Pull in a stool and place it right in front of the WC.

Step three: Put the bachcha on the stool facing the WC with you standing close behind him. {He may look like he is about to fall head long into it coz he has never seen the WC from this angle, and is majorly curious. So, hold on to him REAL TIGHT!}

Step four: Coo sweet words of initiation….that may go something like this, “hi lil baby, wannna pee? See how nice this big potty is? Wow…lil baby’s gonna pee in here!” 
TIP: Make it sound like a nursery rhyme coz two year olds think any activity that can be undertaken with singing is FUN.

Step five: Hold his penis. Now this is the toughest part of all. His penis is so small, you have to hold it with two fingers and will still be scared of hurting him coz YOU don’t know how much pressure on the thing is painful and how much pressure, acceptable…..

Step six: With trepidation, hold it and aim….and wait. Coz the pressure has to build up from inside…especially with my son, who has never been able to pee with the shoo and shaa sounds….

Before we can proceed to step seven, in walks the five year old sister with the elder sis gait and command. My first thought, 
why didn’t I lock the door?

Sister - “What are YOU doing mama?”
Me - “Teaching Abhir to pee.” 
Sister - “Why?” 
Me - “So he can pee like papa.”
Sister - “Papa stands and pees?”
 
Uh-oh….. 

Me - “Yes. All boys stand and pee.” 
Sister - “Oh. Can I watch?” 
Me - “Ummmm…ok.”

She leans over your left shoulder, peering into the WC, asking” mama, can I touch it?” She actually means that she just wants to help you by holding his thing for him. However, the being with the delicate apparatus senses immediate danger and in his two year old prattle shouts, "No. No didi. Mama touch,” followed by “go didi. Go….” 

A fist fight seems almost inevitable at this point.

By this time, you are out of patience coz you have been doubled over, peering into the WC and let me assure you; it is not a convivial sight at all….while you’d rather be elsewhere, doing something less strenuous on your back muscles, eyes and nose. Moreover, by this time, the muscles in your fingers are aching from holding the apparatus as lightly as possible. 

Suddenly Step seven is activated: A stream…that the two year old is thrilled at viewing and wants to shove off your (now) expert fingers to take complete control. Thankfully, by the time the jostling is over, (with hollers of “stop it Abhir” by the sis in the background), the ordeal is done with.

Step eight: Pull up the shorts and get out of the loo. Had enough of examining it from such close quarters for a day.

Ofcourse, every experience teaches you something and it is this great insight that I intend sharing through this post.

So my number one tip for moms of lil boys who have to be taught how to pee standing up: LEAVE IT TO THE DADS. 

This is one father-son activity I assure you, you will be happy to be excluded from!