Lucky man Hugh Jackman!

I wasn't very keen on watching the X-Men movie that was released a few months ago, I recall. I had asked the children to go with their friends and save me the bother of sitting through a couple of hours of watching a movie full of blood and gore (or so I thought).

The children, insistent on showing me the 'glory' of the X-Men, begged and eventually I relented.

As I type this I am so glad that I did.

And not just because I enjoyed the movie. 

It was during the scene where Magneto drives metal rods into Wolverine that the son and I heard sobbing sounds emanating from our left. Through the darkness of the cinema and the rather cumbersome 3D glasses, we saw that it was my daughter, his older sister who was crying as she watched Hugh Jackman cringe in pain and die (of course, not for ever, but for the moment.)

As we stepped out of the cinema, son discussed the movie excitedly (as is the norm - we just HAVE to discuss the details of the films we watch), she started tearing up again. 

I looked at her and said, "C'mon, its just a movie, baby!"

She nodded and wiped her tears, hiding her face away from other passers by.

We descended the three flights of stairs and got into the car and the son I realised by now, had understood that his sister was getting emotional at the mention of the particular scene began thus, "Mom, the scene where Magneto tries to kill Wolverine..."

Before he could complete, she was crying again.

I saw her from the rear view (I was driving and the children were seated behind), I shushed her and almost chided her. "Its just a movie!"

"But I love him!" she said, exasperated, while her rather emboldened brother laughed and started again... "Mom, that scene..."

Sighing I started the car as one continued to sob and the other, giggle.

We were headed to a restaurant for dinner and hours later, we thought the "pain" of watching her idol die (but not really die) would have abated. We were clearly mistaken when we saw tears rolling down her face as son excitedly explained the plot to someone who had joined us for the meal.

Oh Hugh Jackman, dear man... Do you have any clue that there's a fan here in faraway India who can't even bear to see you die even though you emerge alive three scenes later? 

You're one lucky man if my daughter's shedding her precious tears on you! One lucky man!!!!

Backseat Conversation July 2014

Sometimes I think that the son is quick witted. At other times, well, he's just honest.

Daughter: "Mama, you know our neighbour is pregnant and A thought that she's become fat."

A: "Of course mama! You don't know but she eats a lot."

O H K A Y!

Who knows you best? Your child, of course!

Son's new friend comes home for the first time and is surprised that our pet Beagle is quite docile.

"Your dog doesn't bark?" he asks.

"Not really," comes the prompt reply.

"I have a ferocious dog at home," reveals the friend.

"Wow, really? What breed is it?"

"Its called a German Shepherd."

"Oh okay... Any way, he can't come to my home, or else he will have to deal with my mother."

Both nod in agreement.

Just another day...

Son: "I am opening this pack of cereal.."

Me: "Okay. Just put a stopper on the remaining (that cannot fit into the jar) and put it in the cupboard"

Son: "I assign that task to you Mom…"

O K A Y…

'Best Man' dilemma

The other day, son asked: "Mum, do we have the practise of having a Best Man in Indian weddings, like the Americans?"

"If you mean Hindu weddings, we don't. But even in India, Christians do" I said focussing on the traffic of our chaotic city.

"Oh thank God we don't have a Best Man!" he said, as I saw him relax in to the back seat of the car.

"Why?" I was now really curious!

"Because I won't know which of my friends to choose from as my Best Man. I have four best friends you know" he said matter-of-factly telling me the names of his four best friends in order of preference.

Then he quickly added, "Otherwise I would have to marry four times to give them (all) a chance..." chuckling to himself.

What a harrowing dilemma for a ten year old!!!

All grown up at 8!

Well, I don't remember what was my 'level' of thinking at 8. All I recall is that I loved playing the mundane ghar-ghar games, hopscotch, painting/colouring etc... The thought of 'boys' didn't cross my head till I turned 15...

I do remember my youngest brother's thinking at 8. Being 8 years junior to me meant that we had a generation gap between us. I remember in class III he had crushes, but nothing serious. But then that was over twenty years ago...

At 8, my son has been volunteering pieces of information on a daily basis on several sundry topics, some which I find uproariously funny, others which leave me zapped.

For one he has begun resenting a hug before boarding his school bus in the morning or a kiss that I'd like to give him just any where. He retorts: "Don't hug me/kiss me in public. I don't like it!!!"
Now that it has been established that he is embarrassed by it, the daughter will hug and kiss him to piss him off every available opportunity, in public! *sigh*

Last night as we discussed a probable vacation spot he candidly said, "When we go to Goa I won't get out of the room. I don't want to go to the beach because of the women in bikinis."
Daughter: "Maa, just look at this boy! Just 8 years old, look how he talks!!!"
Me: "At 8 you don't like girls. Wait till you're 15 when you will want to stay at the beach only" *devilish laugh*
Son: "We'll see about that!"

Over the past few months, his conversations have been getting increasingly candid - like the one about How hot you are - or - About Gay.

While I was amazed that he knew about bikinis, I also knew that he was telling me exactly what was going on in his mind. As he grows up, the one thing I am happy about is that we communicate. That I guess is the only 'upside' to these inputs...and the humour of course!

Solar System redefined

The Solar System was redefined by my eight year old in a tele-conversation with his father today:

"Hi papa. I am your SUN... Don't touch me you'll burn ha ha ha.... You are Mars, mama is Venus and didi.... Didi is Pluto because it is furthest from the Sun... No... Didi is Mercury because when she goes there she will touch the dry ice and die"...

My reactions - Good God! He must not hate his sister THAT much! His school is doing something right (his planetary information is quite updated)! Post a blog...

!!!!!

One morning, we're in the lift, going to drop him off for school at his designated bus stop. I hug him and say "I love you"

He hugs back and says " I love u too..."

And then the following conversation ensues:

Him: "Oh you're so hot..."

Me: "Yes... I am always hot..."

Him: "Not THAT kind of hot mom!"

Me: "What kind of hot are you talking about?"

Him: "Your-hand-is-like-fire...hot..."

Me: "That's the hot I meant too..."

Him: "No you didn't."

Me: "Okay ... So what kind of hot do you think I meant...?"

Ponders a minute and says: "I can't tell you. You won't understand. Its too deep..."

!!!!!

That evening I am picking my daughter from a friend's place and relate the incident to her. She laughs and says, "Oh my God! How did he know THAT hot?"

Me: "Which HOT?"

Her: "That one mom!!!!"

Me: "Which one? Tell me! Give me an example..."

Thinks and says: "Like we would say for an actress. She is so hot..."

Me: "What does that mean? Beautiful? Pretty? Cool?"

Her: "Not really" And I see her grinning...

Me: "You mean sexy?"

Her: "YES!"

!!!!!

Sometimes I wonder how many such !!!! I am going to report on my blog as my children grow up every minute and astound me with their ...errrr..... 'exposure'.....

Sibling Revelry

O (the daughter): "Mom, I had a dream last night and in the dream A (the best friend) and I were singers..."

Me: "Hmmmm....."

O: "Our band is called Soul Divas and we are very famous...."

A (the son): "You'll never be famous..."

O: "Shut up you idiot..."

Just another day of sibling revelry.... Sigh! These are the joys of motherhood I had anticipated and looked forward to!

Face Mask

Glad to know that the son will probably not gawk at beauty regimens women follow after I overheard this conversation last weekend.

Friends of the son drop in on a Sunday at about 2 pm.

I open the door and they look funnily at me. Then I realise why. I have a face mask on.

Anyway, I let them in. They start playing cricket in my living room (much to my alarm) and to avoid the mask from cracking my skin, I squeak, "Please boys. No cricket indoors. Go down and play."

This it seems makes them notice the "mask" again.

Next thing I hear son updating his mis-informed and unaware buddies in his matter-of-fact tone, "Hey, its not yuck thing ya. Its called a face mask. My mother applies it all the time."

My reaction: I laughed and the almost-dry face mask cracked and started to crumble...

Smart @ 7

Me: "It is cold. Go wear your slippers..."

Him: Exasperated... "Yeaaaa.... I will!"

Me: Threatening... "Go wear them now...or you wait and watch!"

Him: "Ok. I will wait and watch..."

!!!

Kids say the darnest things! 2

S chatting with our son A:

S: "My grandfather died."

A: "My father's father, thatha got heart attack and went to hospital but didn't die."

They continue playing....

Kids say the darnest things! 1

Kids DO say the darnest things!

Scene - I am returning home after signing up at a new gym. Abhir had accompanied me as I went over to register.


Me: "Finally I can go to gym again."

Abhir: "But how can you go mama? There are so many boys there..and you will have to tell them that 'I'm married.'

Me: (Laughing uncontrollably....)

Abhir: "I will write it on a paper and give you and you can show it to them. For Hindi, you can translate and tell them "मेरी शादी हो चुकी है"

Me: (Still laughing....)

Scene - Dietitian is taking measurements soon after registration


Abhir: "Oh mama, your stomach is so big as if there is a baby inside..."

Me: (Embarrassed)

Scene - We're packed in to the car and the conversation on the back seat between Oorja and Abhir is thus

Abhir: "What is gay?"

Oorja: (Matter-of-factly) "Oh nothing! Just two boys loving each other...."

Me: !

Now I know why Bill Cosby ran his show for so many seasons!