I am down with the Viral and have been given (God sent time??) to relax after a hectic month.
I have caught up and read all the blogs I wanted to. Even read a lot of the Fun Wall posts my friends have been sending me on FaceBook. (Yup! I wasn't checking them either!!!) Until now, I'd not given due attention to all the applications on FB and finally did that as well!
On a lark I thought I would look for somebody through the Friend Finder. And it was easier than I thought. I found him...on top of the list of profiles, with a photograph that was clearly him, only 15 years older!
His profile is 'Private' and therefore, I know nothing about him. I am so tempted to send him a "Hey" message.
Even discussed it with hubby who thinks its a bad idea. Because we have been estranged for the past 15 odd years and it will seem odd to him, that I am trying to initiate contact with him after the lapse of all this time.
And its not just the lapse of time. It also has to do with the bad blood that has flown between our two families, over this last decade and a half.
He is my first cousin and the son of my dad's older brother who cheated my father off his life's earnings in one single shot... (Wrote about it when I first started blogging dated Oct 9, 2003).
Its not about forgiving or forgetting. Somehow, I feel life is too short to hold grudges forever and we should all move on!
Somehow, seeing a thumbnail profile picture has brought many memories, mostly good ones. He was my Guru in my growing years, since he is just three months my senior. Taught me what I know about music... We were close, and during summer holidays, or wedding celebrations, virtually inseperable. "Thick as thieves" my mom would say!
We have shared several good times together .... Isn't it sad that I can't just open his "Message" window and write to him?
12 comments:
Write to him Didi. If ur heart tells u to write to him...then just go ahead n do that!
I can understand what ur Dad has gone through...hell I've seen him at various stages of his life. And all I ever notice in him is the courage he has built through all the shit that happened.
I've seen it happen with my Dad too. I've seen how money takes over Blood. But what makes ur Dad n mine special is their ability to forgive n forget.
Let bygones be bygones Didi. If therez anyone to be blamed...blame that Uncle...not his child who u shared some wonderful times with.
Sandy
Hi Sandy... Your comment brought instant tears to my eyes...coz I KNOW in my heart that you are right.
hi ritu,
how r u ?
after going through your blog message, it seems that you have seen only one side of the coin.
since he is your father, it is but natural for you to take his side,
BUT
as a coin always have two sides, one should not be one sided.
i really appreciate that you want to initiate a word with your cousin, and this is an excellent oppourtunity to clear the matter.
and after this you can judge better who actually cheated whom !!
may be according to your cousin, his/her father was cheated.
Hi Abhishek
Very nice of you to drop by...but Im not certain who you are and how you have the right to comment on a matter so personal as to who cheated whom.
I appreciate your concern and shall consider your suggestion of getting in touch with my cousin. Thank you.
Didi,
fine whatever happened, just happened,Just can't help it. But he was a good friend to you, Who is Bad for that matter who is good???
Just Forget what happened, A hi wouldn't hurt anyone or anything, May be he would be actually surprised to hear from you and would even feel bad, but as u said holding grudge against someone all your life wouldnt help in anyway n more importantly, Its just one life, Live it, forget the past,, and U Never know till now what has become of him after that.
And well ..The viral, Just give into it, complain a little, enjoy your break, May be its God's way of telling U get re(u)st :)))
for a while, till U get sick of being sick...
Hey Barath, I truly appreciate your thoughts as I feel the same way too. But it would be kinda impossible to expect the aggrieved party (i.e. my parents) to forgive and forget so easily. As far as I am concerned though, its just about renewing a long forgotten friendship and comaraderie...minus the ill feelings from either side!!!
Im beginning to enjoy this break, as u said...and may just be unhappy to get back on my feet...perhaps tomorrow!!!
And hey, thanks for addressing me as 'Didi'... I take it that I add you to my list of annual rakhi recipients??? :-)
Went through your old post and I am curious to know how that happened? You may not feel like like writing how but when you hear such things, you feel like knowing everything.
I had a neighbor. The elder brother started the business and the second one joined him. They did well and bought a property. But the property was taken in the younger's name. After some years, he separated the business from the elder and also took the property which was at a prime location. Everybody knew but no one could do anything about it. Later, we heard the property was not legal and the government took the splendid building down. Heard the second brother was compensated some amount but everybody was glad that atleast he did not stay in that house. He has gone back where he began.
But as you said, we still find the children of the elder brother forgiving their cousins and people love them more. But personally, I don't know if I would be able to forgive someone like that.
Hey Arunima, the story you have related sounds so familiar...just swap the brothers... In our case, properties, money and more than all else, TRUST was involved...
My parents have endured a 13-14 year struggle.. And even though my father has an ace up his sleeve, he refuses to cash in on it, simply becoz his own brother is involved. Howz that for forgiveness???
Luckily we still have our home (I'd written about) which is perhaps the biggest thorn in some eyes!!!
And then, I'd say again, its not about forgiveness for who can forgive that ur the cousins abused your father in the choicest language possible, and continue to do so, in public and private...who can forgive or forget the pain we have suffered...
But we can move on...and liberate oursleves from this cycle of hate.
But these are my thoughts... Im not sure how my cousins would feel!!!
Wazzzupppppp RITU ,
TIME FLIES. This May I did exactly what you did this week (beat you to it, 3 months older, hehe). I looked my cousins up on FB. What a pleasant surprise it was to find you. The world had shrunk. I followed the link to your blog and read most of your posts one night. I always knew you’d make it as a writer. I did want to say hi but did not want to come across as invasive. As you might remember i have never been much of a writer.
Firstly, my profile pic is from 3 years ago minus 25 kilos. I would not want to scare the hell out of you if we bumped into each other.
As for your page, Harish looks like a great guy and you two look good together. I am glad you followed your heart. Oorja and Abhir look adorable. I am sure you are a wonderful mother to them the way your mum is to you.
As for myself La Mia Vita E’ Bella. Five years ago I married Rina (formerly Zareena Ebrahim) the woman i loved. We dated for five years and i knew if she could tolerate me that long, she was the ONE. She is a non practicing lawyer and an ex biochemist. Bechari ki kismat footi thi ki mujhe se paala pada (with my graduation in music and movies).
Speaking of movies. There was a movie i am sure you have seen called the Matrix. In the movie just before Neo (Keanu) enters the Matrix, Morpheous (his concierge on this journey for THE TRUTH) offers him to choose between a RED pill or the BLUE pill, If Neo would choose the RED pill he would begin his journey into the unknown (THE TRUTH) and if he chose the BLUE one he could forget what happened and go back to living life the way he was made to believe. I draw this parallel because after reading your blog and the way you feel toward our family i know you have chosen the blue pill .
I am not an expert at human nature but I do know one can spend his whole life not knowing the truth. I have found my answers looking inward. Personally as someone who wishes well I suggest you continue believing what you were made to believe, IGNORANCE IS BLISS.
I feel as we grow older we get closer to our families. When i was young my dad too was a superhero to me. All our life we keep our dad’s cape close to our heart and I never wanted you to throw yours away.
Coming back to. FB. Rina and i are sending you an ADD FRIEND request . We would really like it if you could stay in touch. We keep our profiles private out of my paranoia.
Cuz, kindly convey my regards to Harish and much love to the kids. I wish you guys realize all your dreams.
Love always,
ASHISH
P.S.: Beat you to yet again.
Hi Ashish,
Welcome to my blog..and my inner world..after the hiatus. I have missed some of the momentous ocassions in your life (such as your wedding)during this period, as you have missed many in mine, but its never to late to catch up and revive a friendship. I am glad you chose to write back.
Love,
Ritu
Hi,Ritu..well,I'd tell you' follow your instinct',and you'll have done the right thing..forget about remembering what happened in the past.So, if you feel you should get in touch,go ahead.If you feel there's a risk and shouldn't,then take that decision and avoid!Of course,it sounds simpler than it will be.But,I feel our instinct is always a kind of sixth sense.
Hi Amit...thanks for sharing your thoughts with me... My cousin took the first step here and I have reciprocated...Hopefully we can start on a new note..
Are u back from Baroda?
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