“To share, or not to share, that is the question.”
If Shakespeare had lived in these perilous times he would have
perhaps begun the famous soliloquy in Hamlet thus.
‘Share’ is the rallying cry of the social media of the day;
everything you do, (or forget to do) is shared with the rest of the world. But
increasingly the ‘share’ sentiment has become restricted to the clicking of a
self-named button on a social medium. And increasingly, share is also beginning
to have another bearing on humans, in their relationships.
Social media has turned people’s lives around. Suddenly it is easier
to get in touch and remain in touch, over geographical distances, and time
zones. People long believed to have been separated by six degrees, now collide
with each other in the cyber world and create liaisons inconceivable until a
few years ago. To add to this, these interactions can be kept sole, exclusive
and totally private. Closeted in office cubicles, on their commutes and just
about anywhere, people can have unbridled and unmonitored interactions.
While most couples who grew up in the times of Hotmail and Yahoo (in
the early 90s) were astounded by the level of privacy an email interaction
could afford, the new generation, the one that grew up playing on smartphones,
takes it for granted.
Therein lies the problem.
Those who don’t like to share their passwords with their partners or
spouses say this is their private space. “I won’t share my passwords with a
girlfriend or spouse” says Neeraj Thakur who is a social media addict. In
addition, Thakur feels that a partner may not understand the context of a
conversation and there might be a tendency to misunderstand an interaction. The
thought is echoed by Shefali Patel* a PR professional who admits, “I don’t
think my husband will understand my interactions with people which may border
on being flirtatious, but are harmless.”
To others, the refusal to share passwords has nothing to do with
privacy but everything to do with ‘Trust’, a word that has come to define the
depth of a man-woman relationship. In 2010 a New York Times article stated, “Sharing
passwords to e-mail accounts, bank accounts and photo-sharing sites is the new
currency of intimacy."
Sajjani Nair says she has no problem sharing her password if she’s
asked. “I feel infidelity surfaces the moment you have to hide a password or a
text message” she says.
Over the years, the emphasis on trust in intimate relationships has
increased to accommodate the feelings of insecurity and uncertainty that are
perpetuated by the very nature of social media interactions turning it into a device
to protect a relationship.
In an age when the young generation abhors sharing their social
media passwords with parents or other significant adults, it is clear that the
line between trust and privacy is very fine and every relationship must walk
the tightrope to find their own balance and order.
First published in The Golden Sparrow.
